Bad Cases Of Drug Ad Abuse
Try to sing with Robert Palmer to the tune
"Bad Case Of Loving You"
(Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news. I got a bad case of loving you.)

An ev'ning watching TV?
Honey, where's the clicker?
An ev'ning's worth of TV drug ads?
My poor ticker's feeling sicker.
Bush FCC, spare me the news.
I got a bad case of drug ad abuse.

Each drug ad's enthusiastic,
But side effects we've seen are drastic.
With benefits so far so minimal
TV drug ads should be subliminal.
Bush FCC, spare me the news.
I got a bad case of drug ad abuse.

Crestor, Crestor, how can you be best?
My liver's barely functioning as you no doubt have guessed.
My muscle pain is unexplained, but constipation's mild.
So why can't I get pregnant and have another child?
Bush FCC, spare me the news.
I got a bad case of drug ad abuse.

Celebrex, Celebrex, what's the idea?
Before taking you, I'd escaped diarrhea.
My physician and I are no longer speaking.
She says there's no cure for anuses squeaking.
Bush FCC, spare me the news.
I got a bad case of drug ad abuse.

Vytorin, Vytorin, Merck mixed two together.
Now more than ever we're under the weather.
My legs are so weak I can't feed the cat.
The poor little thing is as thin as Jack Spratt.
My husband's so weak he can't rush for ten.
Why even Parcells thinks he won't play again.
Bush FCC, spare us the news.
We got a bad case of drug ad abuse.

TV, TV, please no more abuse.
Those drug ads are worse than Bushie's fake news.

Music & Original Lyric by John Martin
Alternate Lyric by Bob Carlson
www.politicalboondoggles.com
1/22/07

To 'Drugmakers'