Empty Places In Texas?
(Get out of his way)

Ask a Texan where he lives? His "home's on the range."
In the center of Dallas, Austin or sprawling Houston
With a mammoth TV and a microwave oven,
Making sure armadillo for dinner is not overdone.

Empty places exist, but that's not where most live.
Not where the tumbleweeds reputedly tumble.
Most live in a city where there's a bit more excitement
Like church or a chance for a decent gang rumble.

It's nearly legal for Texans to shoot other Texans,
And a misdemeanor if the victim's from out of state,
Or an illegal immigrant just passing through.
Remember Texans are special and should be treated first rate.

Conceal your weapon unless you are jostled.
True Texans deserve all the space they can get.
So pull out your weapon and let all jostlers have it.
A claim of self-defense is a pretty safe bet.

If the victim's defenseless, gunning him down isn't fair,
And if he's not Texan won't be full of hot air,
Which bullet holes will usually let out...
Who says climate change is the sole source of drought?

Bob Carlson

To 'GMO-Fed Hamsters Become Infertile, Have Stunted Growth'
To 'More Laughing At Texas in Rhymed Verse'