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Ricky's Plan for G.M. With no help from Lucy Have we got a plan! It'll keep me in charge and my compensation deservedly large! With too many dealers making way too much dough we'll be cutting back on what showrooms can show. To be cost efficient we'll only build Hummers, using male scientists pre-approved by L. Summers. We'll label each Hummer with an older brand name, though under the logo they'll all be the same. Forget El Dorado; forget Coupe de Ville. All will be Hummers with a fancier grille, Ditto for Pontiac, Buick, Saturn and Chevy, but with styrofoam roofs so they're not as top heavy. The plan calls for dealership ranks to thin quickly so Hummer emmissions don't accumulate thickly. Letting dealers competie knowing most will go under will make me a shoo-in to be Fortune's Boy Wonder.
Bob Carlson To 'General Motors Meltdown' |