Which John McCain?
Have his handlers decided?

My Friends:
I've not been told which John McCain I'll need to be today.
I used to learn by 6 AM till Sarah got a say.
Alaskan Time's so far behind when I'm on the East Coast,
We have to wait till she weighs in to get on Leno's roast.

Jay knows that anything that I'm now saying I am for
Is something I was once against and angrily foreswore.
That's why I can't campaign alone. Nobody wants to see me,
Not even with free porta-Johns for a communal wee wee,

Unless I travel with the bitch. Then that attracts a crowd,
Though I'm as good a liar. Well, maybe not as loud.
'Hoosiers for the Hot Chick' has a Cialis connotation,
While 'Hoosiers for the Hanoi Boy' swift-boats my reputation.

The kind of President I'll be's a mystery to me.
Most days it will depend upon with whom I disagree.
With Sarah P. as my VP we could talk fairly often.
If I were she, I probably would order me a coffin.

Bob Carlson
www.politicalboondoggles.com
9/21/08

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