Hello Doctor, Where's The FCC? *
To be sung with Jelly Roll Morton to the tune
(Oh, hello central, give me Doctor Jazz.)
Ev'rybody gets a pain now and then
and don't know what it is.
It mostly happens when I watch drug TV ads.
It's like a quiz.
Since few doctors make house calls,
I follow TV protocols
And try to do as they suggest,
Making this request:
Oh, hello Doctor, give me TV drugs.
They're saying I could get a lot more hugs
To help get along
When I've got the blues
Ads announcing what is wrong
And just what brand to use.
I must admit I thought that I was fine,
But now that I have got you on the line,
Why's the drug that gets me up
Counteracted by the one that builds me up?
Is Bushie's FDA his FCC?
* The Nation - 6/17/02
Dr. Marc Siegel - "Fighting the Drug (Ad) Wars"
* Mother Jones - 03-04/01
Lisa Belkin - "Prime Time Pushers"
Music by Joseph "King" Oliver
To 'Avaricious Drugmakers'
Original Lyric by Frank Melrose
Alternate Lyric by Bob Carlson
To 'Devious Doctors'