Frugal Old Mac Dougall
Archibald Mac Dougall-Atwell,
D.D.S., M.D.
Was known to his first wife
as Dr. “Don’t Spend Money, Dear” –
As Dr. “Don’t Spend Money, Dearest”
to his next as well;
As “Frugal Old Mac Dougall”
to his former clientele.
Some say they still would use him,
but the thing that turned them off
Was reused tongue-depressors
from another patient’s cough.
Mind you though that none of them
would ever swear they’d seen it;
But after each said “Aaagh...”,
he’d always wipe it off and clean it.
Of course his reputation made them
all assume the worst,
And unwilling to say “Aaagh...”
when not sure their cough was first.
Tis sad they didn’t realize
his second-hand depressors
Would never see the light of day
as “share-the-cough” transgressors.
Though as an avid gardener,
who would save where he was able,
Who used each used depressor
in his garden as a label,
He desperately needed lots more
patients with a cough.
It takes less than a month
for tongue-depressors to rot off!
Copyright © 1988 Bob Carlson
www.carlsonsgardens.com
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