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We've had scads of complaints 'bout the scandals involved That this umpty-umpth Congress was supposed to have solved. At the forefront, we're told, is their mania for junkets. "Which is getting much worse," reports Steffen D. Bunkets. "The Potomac's close by. Why can't they swim there? But, no, most prefer my pools in Bel Air, Expense paid with points they claim to have earned By virtue of leaving no ethic unturned." Because he's survived as a Hollywood mogul, Having shown us who is and who's not worth an ogle, He is expert at who and who might not be lying, Even knowing how much effort each liar's applying. So we asked for his views. If the Congress were his, How would he make it a less flourishing biz? Specifically, Steffen, "If the Congress were yours, How'd you persuade them to stop acting like whores?" He pondered and postured, but not all that long. You think that he cares if Hil gets it wrong? Would he move to New York to qualify there? Perhaps you've not checked out his chicks in Bel Air. Since D. Bunkets retired, debunking's his game So he jumped at a Cheney-like chance to take aim. "The first thing I'd do is cut all cockemamia By relocating that bunch to Mesopotamia. "D.C. with its statues makes them feel high and mighty. In Baghdad who sleeps in an L.L. Bean nightie? So if I ran the Congress, I'd show them some action, Up close, so support for quick pull-outs gains traction. "But we'll stage a swell show for Maliki and crew To demonstrate what filiblusters can do To destroy street cred with the public at large While impeaching somebody who's not been in charge. "An old Hillbilly Bird will MC the venue, Flapping and yapping all the way through With tales of its exploits at Tippecanoe. Scares the heck out of me, I don't know about you. "Act One should begin with a huge belly laugh, But we'll try to make do with Bill's better half. Her witty replies to explain how she voted We hope will get chuckles and get Letterman quoted. "Young Copa Cabana will tug at heart strings Singing 'Oh, Solo Mio', or one of those things, Stage his own 'Resurrection – Rolling the Stone' After checking with Allah on his cellular phone. "Act Two will revert to a secular vein With prisoner stories told by Prisoner Cain To embellish his reasons for choosing to serve Unlike Dynamic Duos who were lacking the nerve. "He'll demonstrate pages of various ages In poses even Rummy might find were outrageous, Though maybe not Cheney, Alberto and Bush Whose preference so far has been for more tush. "Mussolini Roudini will display a lost art: Reincarnation as Monsieur Bonaparte, But remains wishy washy on Iraq's civil war. Says he's waiting to see who his ex-wives are for? "My Iraqi Finale will have each candidate Who's thinking of running in two thousand and eight March out of the Green Zone and defilibrate! Who needs old folks around who'll just equivocate?" But that march could take years. It's a frightening trend, For with D's contributions can campaigns ever end? 'Less he stuffs over-sixtys in a tiny toy hearse With those CBS stalwarts on 'Retirement Averse'.
Original Verse by Dr. Seuss To 'Bushie's Congress' |