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As a bug exterminator he was hardly a first-rater – If you've been to Texas, you have seen Mosquitos twice as big as flies multiply before your eyes – Despite DeLay it's not a pretty scene. Before long he converted – only he's sure who's perverted – A most important hard-right attribute. But before you get excited, three close friends have been indicted, Suggesting he had better mute his toot. Though they keep coming after "The Hammer" with their laughter, His sense of humor's limited to "No!" But the night he watched Jon Stewart, friends say they knew he blew it – Upchucking didn't add much to the show As "The Hammer" went berserk At They're Out To Get Us Church In the sleepy little town of Crawford, Texas, He claimed to be God speaking, But it sounded like the squeaking Of a heavweight who's losing his reflexes. 'Twas a tragic situation that prompted his oration When judges re-interpreted his law – The law that he had passed, that left the world aghast, That prompted even friends to cry, "Aw, naw!" So how's he stayed in power? How's he made opponents cower, When most don't buy his edicts from Above? Though interviewed in Rome, his guillotine's at home – Exterminating still is his first love. He's anyhing but humble; loves to see opponents crumble, Terrified of what he'll make them sign. Then he heard his own remarks referred to as an oilygarch's, An idiot's who's clearly assinine, And "The Hammer" went berserk At They're Out To Get Us Church In the sleepy little town of Crawford, Texas. He claimed to be God speaking, But it sounded like the squeaking Of a heavweight nailed in his solar plexus. * The New Yorker - 4/25/05 Hendrik Hertzberg - "Without DeLay"
Music & Original Lyric by C.W. Kalb, Jr. & Carlene Kalb |