George W. Bush has a grand plan in mind.
Shame on you for doubting he could.
For years he had pined, thrown tantrums and whined,
"My Wheaties don't taste very good!"

Yet he had this weird dream of making the team,
   as a champ, not a mere runner up,
So lunch, breakfast and dinner our not-yet-a winner
   religiously gobbled them up.

Wheaties still had no taste unless they were laced
   with fresh fruit to make them more pleasin',
But musical chairs with peaches and pears,
   has a relatively limited season.

Then one glorious day Poppy's bright CIA
   had the thought that he might try bananas,
Which answered his prayers; he no longer despairs,
   and he'd be one of those sweet Polyannas,

But bananas can bruise with no obvious clues
   for they're grown such a long ways away.
So Bush's idea was to grow them right here
   on his piece of the U.S. of A.

Crawford, Texas gets hot, but apparently not
   hot enough to be growing bananas.
That first winter his died, but he's still well supplied
   with his lovely banana bandanas,

Which he figures will sell, and sell very well,
   when he gets enough more global warming
For bananas in Texas while he misdirects us
   with the next Bush attempt at brainstorming.

Bob Carlson
www.politicalboondoggles.com
7/28/04


George W. Bush, the man with the plan
   for growing bananas in Texas,
Is becoming concerned. He had thought if he spurned
   any new rule that protects us
From the world warming trend, he could quickly extend
   the range that bananas can grow to,
And at last put an end to the risk to his friends
   who's plants are emitting CO 2.

Their carbon dioxide, unlike sulfur dioxide,
   the culprit that makes acid rain,
Isn't yet banned though most understand
   it contributes too much to the pain
Global warning can bring unless you're the king
   of a Texas banana pipe dream,
A king who won't mind if scientists find
   that his warming trend's gathering steam.

The sooner the better. Crawford folks still wear sweaters
   instead of banana bandanas,
Which he finds he got stuck with an embarassing lot of
   when he first tried to grow his bananas.
But what worries him most, his campaign is toast
   if contingency plans are revealed.
Rummy has to remember to wait till December
   and make sure nobody has squealed.

Replacing Chiquita with a Texan Lolita,
   Rove says is the right way to go.
But with troops in Iraq that he can't get back
   to attack where bananas now grow,
Rummy's plan that annexes Guatemala to Texas
   can't rely on the usual shoe leather,
And with Brother Jeb suing and a legal fight brewing,
   he may have to wait on his weather.

Bob Carlson
www.politicalboondoggles.com
7/29/04


George W. Bush, the king with a thing
   about growing bananas in Texas,
Wants to speed global warming instead of reforming
   and making sure Tom Ridge protects us.
Our prospects look bleak. Cheney plays hide-and-seek
   with those guys who emit the pollutants.
So for Texas bananas and banana bandanas
   there's more risk of our begetting mutants?

That's an unhappy thought that we bet you did not
   consider when voting last time.
Who would have thunk when they missed their slam dunk,
   that they were planning a much larger crime?
Of course we all know they could easily blow
   it as they've so often done in the past.
If the sea inundates those low-lying states,
   like Texas, there goes his banana bombast.

If his wife substitutes, say, a hardier fruit
   for his Wheaties, bananas need not be extinct.
So she is the key to seeing that he
   keeps banana farms out of the drink.
But is she reliable or maybe too pliable
   in fulfilling her role in his life?
Peaches, pears or whatever, she needs to be clever.
   Wheaties eaters all need a smart wife.

Bob Carlson
www.politicalboondoggles.com
7/29/04


George W. Bush, has thrown in the towel
   and a few hundred thousand bandanas
They're the sad residues of some recent boo-boos
   as he tried to grow Texas bananas.
Bananas don't thrive at a crisp minus five.
   Remember Chiquita's old warning
About using the fridge while they ripen a smidge?
   Black bananas aren't exactly "Good Morning."

Although he'd been told that they don't like the cold,
   as usual it didn't quite sink in,
And he found out too late that his part of the state
   was much colder than he had been thinkin'.
But he failed to tell Rummy, the Pentagon's dummy,
   that Chiquita was still the face card.
So who hit Managua in poor Nicaragua
   with what's left of our Natioal Guard?

Guatamala had been where they'd planned to butt in,
   but with intel for the tweet-tweet-tweet-tweeties?
Though they know they were wrong, they'll stay there as long
   as there's bananas to go on their Wheaties.

So Bush sheds a few tears and waits a few years
   till his warming trend begins to kick in
With a warm winter breeze and much higher seas
   way too salty for banana tree drinkin'.

But the Great Inundation leaves a much smaller nation
   of voters that he can depend on.
Most of Florida's gone, like the parts he counts on
   to decide who'll be classified 'ex-con'.
So sweet Glenda Hood said she'd do what she could,
   taking over for Katherine Harris.
"Dear, with no audit trail there's no way you can fail."
   There's a promise that really should scare us!

Bob Carlson
www.politicalboondoggles.com
7/29/04