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Brush up your Chinese. You'll find we can't live without. Brush up your Chinese. Goodbye to born-again clout. Your last name will precede your first name. Your first name will follow your last. Yet what seems to appeal to Bush George the most Are the perks that accrue to the governing caste. Brush up your Chinese. Plant to cook in, not take out. Brush up your Chinese. Beyond a reasonable doubt. Brush up your Chinese. Bush George is selling us out. He sells bonds to China to finance his debt And their army that's bigger than he'll let ours get. The next thing you know he'll have moved to Shanghai And be telling us all to cook Fun Tsen Tsu Pai. Brush up your Chinese. There'll be no take-out. Brush up your Chinese. Beyond a reasonable doubt. Brush up your Chinese. Bush George may think he'll have the clout To privatize Social Security there. With communists? Guess what! He won't have a prayer. And before you know it he'll be stuck in Peking Instructing us all to cook Sun Sih Tsai Shing. Brush up your Chinese. There'll be no take-out. Brush up your Chinese. Beyond a reasonable doubt Brush up your Chinese. Bush George has brought it about. He's destroyed our economy with so little fuss, China will soon be outsourcing to us, While Bush George cuts brush in the woods of Szechuan And sends back advice for preparing Won Ton. Brush up your Chinese. There'll be no take-out.
Music by Cole Porter |
Bush again buys into failure. Chile still supports its old. Without government assistance They'd be left out in the cold. Windfall fees cut into savings. Investment bankers make much hay, Praising Bush for his achievements Until China has its way. Wall Street favors more outsourcing. Current profits will be cursed. When our wage rates start to plummet, And outsourcing is reversed. "Privatized Social Security"? Another Wall Street nom de plume. China vs. more duplicity. Who will win out over whom? Despots vs. Wall Street moguls. Bush George thinks that's worth a laugh. Millions vs. millionaires? Who'll have been the fatted calf? Bob Carlson |
Hey! Poppies! Forget the show and tell. You sell well – What the hell – So, Poppies, you think you'd do your thing for me? Hey! Poppies! I admire your pods Of which I'm awed. They're outlawed? So, Poppies, could you still do your thing for me? As your country's occupier I find the stakes are growing higher. With Jacques Chirac an eager buyer Now I could be his sole supplier. Poppies! Forget that spraying thing In the Spring. I'm the King, So, Poppies, we'll let you do your thing for me. Hey! Poppies! You'll be my new cash drawer And pay for Each new war So, Poppies, you better do your thing for me. I've a fine administration Facing public indignation And no income from taxation. We'll be needing your salvation. So, Poppies! I fear it's up to you, What I do. Who I, uh, Who owes who. Poppies! Let's see what you can do for me.
Music & Original Lyric by Bob Troup |
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After I win in Eye-raq, After I've payed them back For nearly killing my Daddy With their pre-emptive attack, After they deed their oil fields To the conquering hero, me, I might have something left over, For somebody else. We'll see. * The Washington Post - 2/22/05 "Bush's '06 Budget Would Scrap or Reduce 154 Programs'"
Music & Original Lyric by Charles K. Harris |
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Why bother with Greenspan? Both he and Bush knew Tax cuts for a rich man Won't trickle down to you. Has he changed his calling? We wonder who knew – Instead of eye-balling, He tries to tell Bush what to do. His mood changes sure are pips – Heavenly flops anticipating drastic flips. A panicky Greenspan, As the deficit grew, Cried, "Raise the damn tax, man – If only God had made me you." * The New York Times - 3/4/05 Editorial - "Greenspan Talks Tax Increases" Paul Krugman - "Deficits and Deceit"
Music by Will Hudson |
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The price of your Band-Aids would suddenly drop If corporate tax breaks weren't so over the top. Johnson & Johnson will pay little or no Taxes on profits they'd otherwise owe. On overseas earnings they've not paid a cent. Repatriate now and Junior's content To drastically cut the taxes they pay Increasing the deficit his own special way. What kind of dough are we talking about? What does it take to have corporate clout? Eleven billion – that's just J & J. Twenty-nine billion for Pfizer, they say. Rmember the Vioxx debacle by Merck? Their fifteen billion's a nice little perk. Why would Bush contemplate this much largess? Corporate lobbys? A reasonable guess. He'll tax foreign profits at two and a quarter Instead of the thirty-five he really oughter. With what they save they will purchase each other, Then shave even more by outsourcing your mother. The tax cuts Bush gets you are not in that league Unless you are part of an Enron intrigue. So voice your outrage when you're begged to buy A Band-Aid for Bush's next little white lie. * NY Times Editorial - 1/30/05 "Corporate Welfare Runs Amok"
Music & Original Lyric by Douglas Furber & Phillip Braham |
Think about the desperation when another generation of conservative elite's no longer the elite – When the deficits they're making with the tax cuts that they're taking all come back to haunt them toute de suite – When those who're then less fortunate begin to ask who was that nut who thought his cuts could be perpetuated – When that poor crew tends to include the second generation brood of those whose candidate miscalculated – Who thought cuts could go on and on as he and Cheney preyed upon the poor to make the rich a whole lot richer, While claiming those who don't agree should all receive the third degree, denying folks the right to be a bitcher. Bitching is an institution permitted by the constitution unless you're working for the CIA, Where Director Porter Goss hates bad thoughts about his boss; so only say what he wants you to say! But it's OK if Junior axes all but future baby taxes encouraging the deficit to grow. Today's conservative elite finds Junior's tax cuts so upbeat – but how much will their children's children owe? Bob Carlson |
Elephants think they can fly? Are bungee cords that strong? Listen for that loud kersplat!!! The last note of their swan song. Consider Junior's "9/11," How long he's made that last, Antagonizing terrorists, The "mandate" he's amassed. As long as he can keep that up And keep his voters scared, The longer he can stay in power No matter how he's erred. To wage his wars, he's selling out To both Japan and China. The bank that holds your mortgage Won't be based in Carolina. The value of our dollar Under Bush has trouble flying. He broke another bungee cord? Good-bye to what our dollar's buying. Bob Carlson |
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Frugal Arch MacDoggle Bush, Scot extraordinaire, Advises nephew, Junior Bush, on ev'rything but prayer. He says, "I'd also help him there, but I'm not into stunts, Having somehow figured out that I was born just once. "It's surplus budgets I assist with, like you'd think I should; But he needs help with simple things like how to knock on wood, And Iraqi whacking costing two bills like he said. He's got to keep his Uncle happy and not seeing red. "Eighty-two bills more you're asking for emergencies? Shouldn't you be overhauling several agencies? At least you didn't put it in your annual federal budget. You're learning lying very well and lots of ways to fudge it. "You've done the same for Medicaid and Privatizing, too? Sounds an awful lot like something Enron's boys would do. It's very clever, lad, but won't they prosecute for fraud? You're right! I'm wrong! How stupid! I forgot your ties to God." * The Washington Post - 2/15/05 "President Requests More War Funding" Bob Carlson |
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We saw it was Greenspan, Who, out of the blue, As Bush's smokescreen man, Helped push Bush tax cuts through. We find it appalling That he'd stoop to schlep What had to be nonsense To a man with his rep. He let Junior lie and say a prayer His unwarranted cuts Would leave some room to spare For Bush and his minions To fund Medicare With fictitious billions – Why doesn't Greenspan care? * N.Y Times - 2/18/05 Paul Krugman - "Three Card Maestro"
Music by Will Hudson |
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Deficits should make Bush melancholy That they don't should make us blue, If we're not in his taxpayer bracket Where coupon cutting's what we do. Even this cloud has a silver lining. As Junior's tax cuts cut the revenue, He'll have to quit Iraq And bring our soldiers back As China warns him "Forty-three, skidoo!"
Music & Original Lyric by George Norton |
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Wal-Mart trades with China? How much do they buy? Don't they know our balance is a few billions shy? How many times can we be asked what to do? Won't that depend on when treasuries come due? We can't tax the Chinese – they're way over there – Nor can we tax Wal-Mart. DeLay wouldn't dare – And if they can't buy Chinese, well, where would they buy? We've outsourced most ev'rything – that's my alibi.
Music & Original Lyric by Irving Berlin |
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Tomorrow, tomorrow – Why live for tomorrow? Better that we try to live today. Today? Much pain and sorrow – What makes you think tomorrow With me could ever be another way? Major errors fighting terror, Deficits by hypocrites Will be coming due, After you and I are through – Bastardizing privatizing – Social contracts? Artifacts – If I can help it, Not for me and you – Make the best of our today. Spend away, indulge so they Who follow must ignore My tomorrow's horrors too. * The New York Times - 2/23/05 Editorial - "Some Inheritance"
Music by Al Hoffman |
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The minute they gave you the job We could see you'd be bone of contention – Squinty eyes – sneaky grin – But being aware you'd failed in business, knew you'd fit in. Why don't we get right to the point? We don't waste our dough on every dope who runs – Hey, big spender, Let's coddle some Mohammedans. Don't you wanna cash in? How's about some real dough? Stick with us; we're the big-time – We can make sure you get the votes to buy Weapons of mass destruction on the sly To swap with Iraq's new regime for oil While Gonzales rules it's OK by Hoyle – Hey, big spender, Why worry 'bout the do re mi? Wall Street owns your SEC – We are your security.
Music by Cy Coleman |
Lord Bushie's back to drinking and is so full of ideas, He's mandated a breakfast of grits and at least a dozen sangrias, Especially when confronting a press troublingly too perspicacious. That calls for a drinker's mendacity and willingness to be pugnacious. He is especially obsessed with plans for no SATs. "Why should tests be determining who gets to score TDs?" Instead of liberal arts schools fielding most football teams, Bush believes mega-churches should sponsor all Rove Bowl dreams. "Recruits would only be required to repeat those platitudes. That hockey needs to heed instead of measuring aptitudes. Maybe that's why he's back to drinking and is so full of ideas, And has mandated a breakfast of grits and a dozen or more sangrias, He'd also let Leviticus dictate "who will play and who'll not, And who will throw the most Hail Marys knowing they're gonna get caught. And won't their constant genuflecting generate much firmer abs? Cheney grumbles he's sure that will help when balls are up for grabs. "Think how much more money they'll make by not just saving souls, More than all those liberal arts schools get when their kids score goals. But then my coop-de-grace will come, when from my lofty perch, I wipe out my deficits by taxing each lucrative church." Bob Carlson |
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Deficits came from out of nowhere. They weren't there, nor in my plan. First the applause, Then the faux pas and nightmare: War in Iraq and slashing taxes began. Greenspan's OK came out of nowhere, Cutting his rates as low as he could. Still all those gobs Of good-paying jobs flew off somewhere, And refunds weren't spent to the extent we'd dreamed they would. The need for more oil came out of nowhere – Low-sulfur crude's gone through the roof. Greenspan's backed off And all bets are off we'll go somehere – Nowhere's more likely; Whose foolish plan wasn't exactly foolproof?
Music by Johnny Green |
Poor Bush is high on his new agenda, But all those lies, and the dough he blows – The more tax he cuts, the bigger the ruts, And with interest on ruts, the more he owes. The world and I know that his agenda, Unlike his fiscal bender, Will have to go bye, bye. Unless his tax cuts die, Then we'll hear him sigh, And cry, "I'm just like Dad – All Bushes lie."
Music by Raymond Hubbell |
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I hope my grin reminds Ramallah That though Hamas may have won, The lack of funds that leads to squalor Occurs with ev'ry Bush "home run." So though your war may stall, Not to worry or fret, A grin will soon be all Anyone expects to get. So let this grin of mine remind ya It don't pay to cut and run.
Music by Sammy Fain To 'Bushie's Deficits' |
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His "hot little hands" don't have a clue About who'll try to blow up who, Who they are, or how many – I bet that's worth a pretty penny. How many billions? Glad you asked, But will the truth then be unmasked? Bush requested eighty-two, Yet neither knows who'll blow up who. Or more precisely, it's safe to assume, Neither one knows who'll blow up whom. As a matter of fact they may never know How long a row they've started to hoe. But with eighty-two bills some say it will show How much you can blow on how little you know. Plus history books will have shown they own The legacy of the rows they've hoen. * Rummy - 2/16/05 Testimony before House Armed Services Committee Bob Carlson To 'Policies - Security' |
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This year's tax increases Aren't what they'll need to be. They won't stand a chance To offset the cans and can'ts Of the current Bush autocracy. Just like prior decreases, They won't help me – They'll favor folks a cut above. * The Washington Post - 3/7/05 "Tax Cuts Lose Spot on Republican Agenda"
Music & Original Lyric by Irving Berlin |
Ten cents a war, That's what he promised. Is there a chance he lied? Ten cents a war, Seemed like a bargain, But how it's multiplied. Seven to midnight, I hear ads Proclaiming that he has approved. He must be stark raving mad – Can't he see nobody's moved? Some people thought they'd found a hero, But what's he fighting for? All that we've got is ground zero – Come on, Bonzo, Ten cents a war!
Music by Cole Porter |
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The Dollar's gone. Forest Lawn. Advocates of trickle-down – Bushie celibate, Ms. Frown – Black or white negating brown – The Dollar's gone. The Dollar's dead. In the red. Chinese imports were pop art – Now with WalMart, off the chart – IBM sells off its heart – The Dollar's gone. Undertakers on the take Wrote their own "Dear John" – The Dollar's gone. * The New York Times - 2/27/05 "The Alpha Currency"
Music & Original Lyric by |
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Oh Bushies, you Bushies, You're driving me downward. You think my markdown would Be nothing to fear. You're funny about money. You're thinking that exports Will exceed imports If I fall on my ear. Koreans won't buy – Must be they know that I'm falling. Now watch the hullabaloo. Bush thinks he's sly, But ev'ryone knows that he's stalling. Can't do a thing if he hasn't a clue. So as I get cheaper I've remained a keeper, But if I dip deeper, I'll be his bugaboo. Mortgage lenders stand by – The value of most homes is falling. Are your refinanced mortgages past due? * The New York Times - 2/24/05 Editorial - "Warning From the Markets"
Music by Fats Waller & Harry Link |
Birds of a feather, they'd be perfect together, George Bush and Marie Antoinette. Hated by millions, they loved their cotillions and increasing the national debt. Outspokenly callous with obvious malice, "Let them eat cake!", "Bring 'em on!" – The rabble they served were hardly deterred at the prospect of either's Dear John. "Dead or Alive", each one could contrive to generate much animosity, But as you have seen, a sharp guillotine can control fiscal impetuosity. Bob Carlson |
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Do we buy mince pies from China? In a clutch? Made from barkers or from whiners? Or some such? Do we need their help to keep our prices low? Tax them and watch where our lowest prices go. Deficits do not concern us, no not much, Until we find it's Wal-Mart's bottom line they touch. Junior says he'll let us know Which way he intends to go – Will he want to upset Wal-Mart? Not that much. Do they have cheap goods to sell us? No not much. Can they cheaper personnel us? Not that much. Will they let the dollar float And upset their gravy boat? Or will they sit back and gloat? No not much. Once they've bought us, will they sell us? For how much? Will they evangelical us? Or go Dutch? But make sure we have the yens To favor Buddhist born-agains When they shop at Wal-Mart? No not much.
Music & Original Lyric by Robert Allen & Al Stillman |
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Wanted: Congressional oversight, Undaunted by rumors of his divine right. Bush breaks the budget and thinks he's smart. Why hasn't someone spanked the upstart? Wanted: Constituents who'll revoke The use of more credit by the bloke. Won't those who told him money grows on trees Make sure his credit cards are all 'PGs'. Wanted: Someone who'll reign him in, Not haunted by his mouse eatin' grin. We never needed what he seems to be, An idiot savant catastrophe. * The New York Times - 2/14/05 "The Importance of Being Earnest"
Music & Original Lyric by |
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Bush is a millionaire without a worldly care, But one thing's on his mind. He's planning for the day when he can slip away And leave this mess behind. He'll leave us in a hole, a country on the dole, Controlled by movie stars. While Arnold learns the drill and struggles with the bill, Bush will be approaching Mars. He'll leave the Congress with the powers to sell our parks to the Chinese – He'll leave our old folks with their mem'ries of the days when we had trees – He'll leave our jobs to his illegals – He'll leave our bankruptcies to banks – Alaskan oil to Halliburton – And Karen to convey his thanks.
Music & Original Lyric by Irving Berlin |